Monday, August 27, 2012

BLACK BELT IN AWESOME

I've always been a fan of Martial Arts. I'm trying to remember chronologically as best as possible and I would say it all started with old Kung Fu flicks. My entire upbringing was bombarded by ancient fighting techniques making their way to the Americas. I grew up with Ninja Turtles, Karate Kids and Kung Fu the Legend Continuesesessss? Whatever, the point is that from an early age I realized that being born in this side of the world was the best thing that could have happened to me because unlike all those suckers in the East that invented all these martial arts and practice all day long, here in the West I could learn all those techniques in a matter of months by doing regular household chores and listening to 80s pop music as long as I met the right Sensei.

 NO NEED TO PLAY DRESS UP ANYMORE

And so at the tender age of around 12 I decided it was time to start my journey. I found this old Chinese guy that hung out in the back of my middle school in his sweet van and asked him if he wanted to be my master. He was pretty excited about it, maybe a little too much, but I took that as a good sign, and so I was ready to start my training until the cops showed up and arrested his ass. I was pretty bummed for about 10 seconds and then I realized it was pizza night so I went home. I did end up renting a whole bunch of books on fighting techniques from the library and started learning the history of the different martial arts. But even at that naive age I knew books weren't going to be enough to quench my thirst for blood.

My parents always preached nonviolence so there was no way to convince them about the benefits of putting their child in ass kicking classes. I also suspect that they had figured out I was a little asshole so that may have had something to do with it. This put me in a predicament. With no money for lessons I started seeking out people that could teach me whatever techniques they had learned from different arts and wanted to practice with me. Over the next couple years I met friends that had actual training and learned as much as I could about what they practiced. I didn't just ask them to teach me moves, I asked for their opinion as far as how applicable the techniques where, what they saw as strengths and weaknesses, the spiritual side of their chosen art.... actually I learned that shit on my own, I mostly asked them to teach me some sweet moves. I became the punching bag for a lot of them but with all that ass kicking, I actually got pretty decent exposure to Judo, Tae Kwon Do, MCMAP, and Pencak Silat.

I ALSO GOT EXPOSED TO THE BUSINESS END OF A KENDO STICK ONCE BECAUSE MY FRIENDS ENJOY BEATING ME UP.

One of my favorite stories actually happened while practicing Tae Kwon Do with a Marine fresh from bootcamp and MCMAP training on my birthday. We where doing some light sparring and my mom came over to tell us it was time to cut the cake and all that fuzz. I should have listened to my mama, but I didn't so we went for one more round and I got my two front teeth kicked out by accident. I grabbed those suckers, cleaned them up and shoved them back in place and spent the rest of my birthday at the emergency room high on morphine and getting my lips stitched up. Good Times.

So after years of dipping my toes in the proverbial water, I find myself in a position where I have both the time and means to actually practice a Martial Art. I have decided to start Gracie Jiu Jitsu and I'm pretty excited about it. I always like putting some sort of teaching in my writing but honestly I just wanted to share this with whoever cares. I guess the lesson is that it is NEVER too late to go after whatever you are passionate about and when you want something you should work towards it no matter what. Good Times.

 

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