In any case, I always admired this quality of his, and as I grew older I wondered what a man had to do in ordered to collect the vast knowledge my Grandfather seemed to possess. Well, WikiGrandpa had the answer for that too! "Never stop paying attention." he said, "Everyone AND everything has a story to tell and a lesson to teach"!
Well, I took this to heart and so now I give you a compilation of lessons I have learned from everything around me! Tips that will hopefully help you with school, life, love and maybe even sex! Sound advice from a guy that can't get his crap together so seriously, listen at your own risk!
RUGBY and FRIENDSHIP
ZOMBIES and FINANCES
SEX and VIDEOGAMES
FOR THE GENTLEMENHonor system ladies, remember the Ninja Space Monkeys, I'm not afraid to use them, skip to the next section.... O.K., now that they are gone here it is, there's two types of women when it comes to sex, it's up to you to figure it out so that you can please her. The first type is like your first console, let's say a Nintendo with Mario Bros. Once you start playing its pretty intuitive and each button does something specific, there really isn't much to figure out so now its up to you to see how good can you get at the game. You could probably play for hours but if you don't develop your technique things will get repetitive. Be inventive and you will always have fun! The second Type is more like the current consoles. Let's say PS3 with Modern Warfare! You start playing and you realize you don't really know what everything does so you have to take your time to figure out each function, you might play a few rounds and not do very well because you haven't learned the controls yet, but if you really slow down and pay attention you will develop the right technique and begin to enjoy the game. After some time things become second nature and before you know it you are leveling up like a boss and getting all kind of achievements you weren't expecting. Patience and attention will help you master and thoroughly enjoy each game!
FOR THE LADIESWell, I was just telling the men about respect and totally not reinforcing sexist stereotypes, matter of fact I just copy and pasted something from the Cosmo website. Boring stuff really. Actually what I wrote up there actually applies to men too, if you already went through it then shame on you, but let me add to that just a little more. My advice for you ladies is very simple. Whether we like you or not we are probably going to let you play videogames with us, but only if we like you are we going to really enjoy ourselves, let you win and won't care what buttons you where pressing and you know exactly what I mean!
SCHOOL and DRIVING
DRINKING AND MARTIAL ARTS
So there you have it. Just a couple pearls of wisdom from me to you. Don't bother thanking me, but specially don't bother complaining when none of this works because I probably won't remember typing it since I downed 2 bottles of cough syrup before I got started and I sure as hell can't be held liable for the crap my brain is spewing. May the force be with you!