Thursday, January 23, 2014

REDEEM THYSELF MIAMI.

Kudos to @IvanKinz.

An open letter to the City of Miami.

Dear City of Miami,

You find yourself in a very particular position. You can literally change history by how you react to the actions of the Canadian queef called Justine Bieber. Consequences should not be dictated by the amount of money a person has, or how many retarded fans they have tricked into thinking that what spills out of their mouth is music. You should therefore treat Justine the way you would treat me, or anyone else for that matter, had I been the ass-douche that rented a Lambo and street raced it while gay and high.

The Grim Ripper already foked shit up because it obviously confused this Lambo with the Porsche that Paul Walker was driving and unfairly took the wrong celibrity. But you can't really blame Death for that, it's not like it drives or has to know anything about cars so you know, it was a mistake. But I digress, and it is now up to you, City of Miami. You might be tempted to provide Justine with the best cell in the ladies block, but that is actually a man, so throw his ass in with general population. Don't worry about his safety, there's plenty of videos of him training boxing and watching UFC. I'm sure this vaginal wart can defend herself just fine. Do not process her paperwork faster than usual. I've seen the documentaries and I know there's people in there that have been waiting for processing for literally years.

By simply doing things the way you normally do, and not treating this fermented moose dropping called Justine Bieber better than you would anyone else in Miami, you can make the world a better place and the City of Miami can benefit immensely. Think about it. By keeping Justine in T.G.K. you will definitely prevent her self destructive behavior from continuing. No more damage to hotels, no more countries being offended by a spoiled dingleberry with money, no more wasted tax dollars on charges that get dropped based on income. You will also create a new tourist attraction for thousands of moronic "beliebers" that will line the streets outside T.G.K. to comfort their fallen idol. This will be a great boost to the City of Miami's economy. Can you imagine the killing all the food trucks and arepa carts are going to make while feeding these idiots? That's money in the bank baby!

Redeem yourself, City of Miami. Do the right thing and show the world that there's hope for you yet. It's the least you can do after whoring yourself to the Kardashian's and the Jersey Shore.

Sincerely,

Andy Fokengoodtimes.

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